NED-SDN Newsletter June 2025

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For those who prefer to download this newsletter, a PDF is attached.

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In this newsletter we remember and honour Ned ten years after his death.

Seven people who knew him tell their stories and share their insights, some deep and others quirky. While much has changed in this world since he died, the fundamental values he stood for all his life remain true – respect for others, curiosity about the world, concern for the planet, generosity in giving, and a deep empathy and understanding applied to helping individuals deal with life’s challenges. 

His was a life well-lived and we pay tribute to the man who taught us so much and left us with an enduring legacy to continue his best work.

I hope you enjoy reading about Ned Iceton, founder of the NED Foundation.

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Lynne Hosking                 Havens of kindness and generosity

• Haven: In 1977 I met Joan and Ned when they lived in Joan’s house, on a large town block. As I was isolated with a young child in shearer’s quarters on a rural property, their home became a haven. I also enjoyed visiting Ned’s mother Ailsa, doing her washing when Joan and Ned were away. When they moved into the adjacent house they designed, I was invited to move to their former place. It was the only time I ever argued with an owner to pay more rent! My son Morgen and I stayed for 7 years until I was able to buy my own home in Armidale.
• Kindness and Generosity: Encouragement by Joan and Ned enabled me to co-ordinate the Northern Tablelands Franklin River campaign, using the phone extension from their house next door. I was adamant that I’d pay all the phone bills but was out-maneuvered when they quietly paid, insisting it was their contribution to saving the Franklin!
• Garden, Nature and Music: Joy and healing in gardening, nature walks and Musica Viva concerts with Ned, when he kept on Joan’s subscription to share.
• SDN: It took me a while to understand what SDN was about even though I helped Joan collate, staple and mail the newsletter. I thought it was only for academics, so I put together a leaflet in plain English! At an SDN workshop I benefitted from an extraordinary exercise involving Head/Heart/Will imagery that opened up the realisation that I could attempt University as I’d left school at 16 to begin work. When summarising with the group, I was alarmed to see Ned in tears and humbled when he shared that he wished he could more often open up his heart rather than living so much in his head. Joan and Ned mentored me when I did my first UNE degree in the 1980s. Their enduring legacy lives on in my heart.

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Karla Meyer                       Who Ned really, really is

Ned has played a big part in my life for about 20 years. I fondly think about him and what he might say about the current state of the world. Ned also formed a strong friendship with my father Edgar and they travelled together in the early 2000s, to the Kimberley and the Northern Territory, exploring places they were interested in. In later years we used to meet him for lunch at the Mun Hing restaurant in Armidale. That’s when health started to enter our conversations – but never in a depressing way, more like the exploration mode that was always a trademark of Ned’s interactions.

My longest connection with him was through our book group. One of Ned’s was Complexity and for a while the group turned into a Y2K group. Ned had become aware of the potential problem for computers programmed up to 1999. Some people were worried that when the year 2000 arrived, computers might malfunction and impact critical infrastructure, electricity and food supply chains. While we were relieved that nothing ultimately went wrong, I admit there was a pang of disappointment that not even the slightest little hiccup was reported!

In the early days I was curious about his special way of meditating and asked him about it. All I can remember is the phrase ‘Who Ned really, really is’ – which became a trademark phrase. He also used the phrase ‘Both/And’ rather than ‘Either/Or’ and would remind us of the wisdom of the Serenity Prayer. His response to others was often, ‘Is this so?’ which I found refreshing because it never came from a place of doubting or judgment, but always from genuine interest and curiosity. Ned’s thoughts, style and actions have put a stamp on me and who I became as a person. I am deeply grateful for the special flavour he added to my circle of friends.

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Julie Marsh - Memories

Meeting Ned and Joan for the first time, at our co-operative restaurant in 1990. Dedicated to group activities and ventures, they would travel to learn new ideas of self-knowledge, to Britain and California. Michael connected immediately, though he did incline to more personal development growth.

Ned, loving our garden at Warrane. The biggest smiles and hugs, blissed by the birds, the tea, and the company. He made family of those he engaged with most. Ned and his long legs! His particular, careful way of dressing. Often in Armidale winters I wear his grey woollen skivvy and see its careful darning (Joan or his mum). Ned accompanies me.

Ned, sitting in the hospital room after my serious accident, patiently, tolerantly making conversation with a semi-conscious friend unable to respond. Only a year later, Ned himself in Armidale Hospital when he was dying, and by then he knew it – he still smiled, bemusedly…it was all so sudden.

As time goes by, I’ve come to understand and appreciate the very special and unique groups Ned established with the SDN and NED. Brilliant, Ned. Well done.

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Allan Kelly – The Kelly lads

NED and I had a lot of one-on-one conversations. Ned was a gentleman and a scholar. After every conversation it was like washing your face with cold water - very invigorating. (Allan and his sister Laurel were at Ned’s bedside the night he died).

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Jane Purkiss – An unlikely clown

So many memories of Ned. His initiation and support of First Nations projects in Armidale, through schools, the Teachers College, University, Medical Centre and through friendship. Ned's commitment to SDN and its role in developing social justice programs. A joyous memory was his sense of fun. He was a wonderful clown at an SDN workshop – a dear, kind, gentlemanly soul who called us to be the best of ourselves. Such a treasured friend.

I now live in an off-the-grid, inter-generational ecovillage. I was part of its founding, being the first home built eight years ago. Youngest member is nine months. I am the oldest at 88. Ned would have approved!

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Barbara Hicks – Memories of Joan Iceton

As we remember Ned, I would wish us to remember his wife Joan, more than thirty years after she died. They were a formidable team. Tall, lanky Ned and small, slightly plump Joan, always with a beaming smile across a rosy-cheeked and welcoming face. They met and married in their 40s and were both strong and confident characters who brought knowledge, skills, interests, and abilities that balanced, complimented and united them.

In SDN workshops there was always a tension between Ned’s big picture, global, organizational, social development approach and Joan’s role to offer a deeper, more intrapersonal and individual contribution. We lived, ate and workshopped together for nearly a week, so tensions grew as we learned to be more socially developed! It was not unusual for Joan to offer one-on-one counselling sessions to participants.

Ned and Joan developed a therapy technique called Script Analysis based on Transactional Analysis. I attended several of their workshops and found this a very fruitful way of doing personal therapeutic work. Their relationship was equal, strong and respectful. In finding each other they were able to produce the work, initiatives, community and social development they did, together and separately.

During the years I knew her Joan developed serious expertise in NLP and trained in America at the Esalen Institute, California. It was a time when we were all training up in TA and Gestalt and Joan took it to a very high level of practice. We were shocked when we learnt of Joan’s breast cancer. Ever the social developer, she started a Make Today Count support group for people living with cancer. It came as a shock when she died around 1992.

Ned was enriched and enabled by his marriage to Joan for around twenty years. It’s possible he would not have achieved all that is now being celebrated without her. I would like Joan to be acknowledged more fully within the Foundation.

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Rob Richardson - A chance meeting

Sometime in 1996 I became aware that Armidale Council was probably going to approve a major shopping complex for Woolworths, Big W and at least eight specialty shops. As a retailer in the Armidale Mall at the time I was horrified that Council was prepared to completely divide the Armidale CBD. I began my fight to stop this from happening which turned into a major movement, culminating with me running in a by-election for Council in 1998, which I won.

Later that year a tall thin fellow came into my office at Jury’s in the Mall. It was a tiny office with a desk, chair, filing cabinet and upright heater. He perched on the heater, smiled at me and asked, “What are you doing about stopping Woolworths developing on Barney Street?”. I told him about our campaign and he said he would join the movement. I told him that any help would be appreciated, and said “By the way, who are you?” “My name is Ned Iceton”, the tall stranger replied. Ned and I quickly became friends.

A couple years later, after I closed my business (partly due to my over-involvement with the Woolworths saga!), I was fortunate to get a position at Jobs Australia. In a happy coincidence, Ned was on the board and we always had a chat before the meetings. During a difficult time, a colleague and I visited Ned’s house to confer with him. I have never seen so many books and papers in one room, and confirmed what I thought about him from our first meeting - he was a well-read, worldly and wise person. Our friendship continued until his death.

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Thanks to all contributors and to readers of this newsletter. We are compiling a NED archive so if you have anything to send us, emails from him, his writings, any photos, or even tape recordings, please get in contact with me ASAP. Details below.

If you’ve got any feedback, ideas or want to contribute articles or photos, please get in touch with the newsletter editor, Harry Creamer: harrynedfoundation.org.au or 0431 158 252